Live, Laugh, Love

A few weeks ago I went out to ride my horse, it was a normal day, saddled him up and went out to the arena. Nothing special. I had been stressed and hadnt ridden in 3 or 4 days, so was on the verge of spontaneous combustion. I climbed on and we started doing our circles, he has this jog. It is the perfect jog, almost like you are sitting in a rocking chair except you are going side to side instead of front to back. It is slow and comfortable, fits me like a puzzle piece. Over the past few months I feel like our trust of each other as sky rocketed, like we're becoming a pair. (Now that I say this he will be a butthead tomorrow) As we rode that day I started to feel a tingling in my forearms, it was the weirdest feeling, almost felt like those machines at the Chiropractor that send electricity to the area they just popped. I lost all strength in my arms, almost like they went numb. It is really hard to explain, it then started spreading to my fingers, up my shoulders, into my neck. I didn't hear anything, didn't think about anything, almost like I was frozen...and he just jogged, all I could do was smile. It was the perfect moment, it was what I live for. I'm not sure what happened that day, what caused those feelings. But I will never forget it, after the past however many years of just exsisting, just getting through "putting on the face", I knew at that moment I was back. It was like my blood started flowing again suddenly. I had always felt like what my heart actually wanted wouldn't be good enough for those around me, like they expected more out of me. I will never forget that day and I hope everyone at some point in there life is able to experience living in that way. Makes you realize life really isn't about the numbers we track everyday, or the problems we stress about, or what everyone else thinks we should be doing with our lives. It is so much more simple than that. Life is for living, for enjoying, why else are we here?
I don't have any big goals in life. Some want to be doctors, business owners, whatever, unfortunately for Todd I don't have that. The idea of spending my life stressed out so I can have something doesn't really appeal to me, the constant fight to have more and rise higher just isn't there anymore. I've been there and it just isn't me. I'm happy with what I've got. I like to be the best at whatever I do and want everything to be perfect, but my main goal for my life is just to enjoy it.  I'm perfectly happy sitting in my small town, with my closed mind, on my small patio with my little family and my small town friends enjoying life. Sure I want to make an impact on peoples lives, I want to do awesome things someday and I will, I have no doubt about it. But it will come, whatever I am supposed to do will come. And maybe this is what I am supposed to do, raise little Andi pants to make a positive impact on society. I'm good with that, I think she's turning out to be a pretty awesome little person, possibly that is because she is an exact clone of me. It is kind of fun with her when something is wrong, generally whatever would work for me to calm down in that situation works for her. It is fun to actually kind of understand where someone is coming from. Then again I'm a little off-kilter of what normal is...I don't know if the world needs another me. :) I think Todd and I are asked at least once a day when we are going to have another child, a clone of Todd...when we are ready, and that is not right now. We have a lot of living to do and there is nothing wrong with that. When it is time we will let everyone know, until then we will multiply our horses, motorcycles, probably not dogs we have enough of those, etc...just expanding our family a different way :).